By Ross von Metzke

Margaret the Outspoken? Definitely!
Margaret the Unruly? At times.

Margaret the Soft Spoken? Friday morning at 9:30 am, hell yes!

Margaret Cho has built a reputation around saying whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and the girl has a lot on her mind. President Bush, cower in fear. Condoleeza Rice? She’s coming for you too! Gay marriage pundits, get out of the way.

But off stage, there’s a softer side to Margaret. If you’re expecting Cho to out with one liners and political satire on command, you can forget it. The over the top, boisterous, often vulgar comedienne who takes to the stage turns it off after the lights go down. It’s almost as if the character she plays on stage is the comfortable façade she uses to address the nation.

In person, she’s still poignant… often profound. But the rough em up, attack mode ammo she uses to great effect on stage is nowhere to be found this Friday morning. Instead, Margaret is subdued! Matter of fact! Focused!

Maybe writing her latest book, I Have Chosen to Stay and Fight (a collection of blogs and random thoughts from her Web site, www.margaretcho.com), took some of the edge off. Or perhaps married life (gasp) has calmed her.

“It's not a traditional situation. It's not a committed marriage. We're just friends who share space.” – Margaret Cho circa June, 2003, back when she tied the knot.

Fast forward two and a half years.

“As it’s played out, my marriage has been very traditional and strangely conventional. I think it’s so weird. Sometimes, we long for tradition. For what’s usual. And that’s why I think gay marriage should be legal. It’s natural for people to want to nest, and to deny that to an entire part of the population is immoral.”

Ah, there’s that fire, but delivered with a hint of Pinesol and that snuggle fresh warmth.

Ross von Metzke: The majority of I Have Chosen to Stay and Fight is taken from your Weblogs. When you first started posting random thoughts and ramblings to your site, did you know that a book might come out of it?

Margaret Cho: You know, I didn’t really think too much about it. It’s been great to be able to do that, to bring it to a wider audience, but it’s not something I set out to do.

RVM: This marks the first time a lot of your fans will have seen you at you play it serious. When you write in book form, what comes more naturally? The humor or the frustration?

MC: I’m not really clear on what comes first or more easily for me? To me, they’re the same thing. I don’t think about what’s different or what’s serious, they’re both equal measures.

RVM: So much of what you say, you back with facts and examples which is what makes the book such a success. Was the research portion of backing up your issues important to you?

MC: Of course, of course. And I’ve done things that are wrong in the past, but that’s the wonderful thing about it being online. People can e-mail you and correct you and then I get to go online and fix it.

RVM: When you first started out, the majority of your comedy was rooted in the Asian culture and the gay community. Much of it still is, but you’ve obviously grown more political over the years. What sparked the transition?

MC: To me, it really doesn’t seem that different. I don’t know when exactly a change happened. I don’t know that there was necessarily a moment, it was just very natural to me. I think I just became more exposed to world views.

RVM: Has there ever been a point when you felt you may have gone too far?

MC: (laughs, the first time her slightly wicked personality comes out) Oh no! I mean, I’m sure its happened. But I don’t think I’ve ever really felt it. I just really don’t care about stuff that deeply. To me, the moment on stage is so transitory and fleeting, once it’s done, I don’t worry about it.

RVM: I remember the San Diego hotel incident (Margaret was hired to do a benefit for a group of Republican hotel owners. She didn’t know who they were, and they didn’t know who she was). They turned your mic off and stopped payment on your check. How has that affected the sort of jobs you take?

MC: Oh, I don’t really care one way or the other, but I think the people who work with me are more careful. To me, go ahead and send me on those shows. I find it interesting. You know, even though most of those people didn’t agree with what I was saying, they were still laughing, but they were more laughing in spite of themselves, which I thought was hilarious.

RVM: Did they ever end up making good on the check?

MC: Well, finally, the money came back around. But it had all gone to charity, and they had to wait a long time for it, which sucked.

RVM: When you first started out, I’d imagine a fair chunk of your comedy stemmed out of a frustrated relationship with your mother. How has your relationship grown?

MC: I think the fact that we don’t live together anymore has been a big plus. She’s not as strong a force in my life anymore. It’s become something of a fun friendship.

RVM: Do you think the humor and ideas represented in your act have changed the way your mom speaks or views things?

MC: She’s more open minded now, but she was always pretty liberal by Korean standards. But she’s much better now. She doesn’t retain a lot. I don’t think she understands a lot of what I talk about, so it doesn’t stick with her. I guess I’m shocked she enjoys so much of what I say. It’s been a surprise… a very good surprise.

RVM: You have a few notches on your resume that just intrigue the hell out of me and I wanted you to comment on them. For starters, Golden Palace.

MC: (laughing) Oh, that’s funny. That was so weird. That was one of the first things I did, and Marc Cherry, who does Housewives, was doing it. I was so excited because I loved Golden Girls and this was the spin off but it really wasn’t as good. And then thy made me sing, which was really nuts. Funny!

RVM: What about Red Shoe Diaries?

MC: Oh man, that was so fun. The girl I did it with died, which sucked because I loved the show. It was David Duchovny, man. But oh, it was so not about women, but more this Zalman King fantasy.

RVM: And It’s My Party.

MC: That was an amazing experience. That’s a great film, but it was also quite a sad experience because it’s based on a true story. The director’s boyfriend had died, but before, he’d thrown a party for himself, so he decided to make a film of that experience. It was so emotion, but amazing! Truly amazing!

RVM: The backlash you’ve received from your act - have you ever found someone who writes you educated complaints and wants to start a dialogue?

MC: I wish there were some sort of dialogue going on, but it never becomes discourse. Most of it is just hate mail and it never goes beyond that. If they could actually argue and form their feelings into something more than racial epithets, that would be wonderful.

RVM: Why does this book matter to you? If someone picks it up, what do you want them to take from it?

MC: I’d love for people to have an opportunity to hear a different voice because we get so much of the same, both from the liberals and the conservatives. I offer a different take, and I hope it can help people to feel a lot less alone and stronger to speak their minds and to ask questions.

I Have Chosen to Stay and Fight is available in hardback now.