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MARGARET CHO
High-Def Dish: Why “Dancing With the Stars” matters
Kurt Niece - Cross-posted from Echo Magazine
October 19th, 2010

Editor's note: "Dancing With the Stars" airs on ABC on Mondays and Tuesdays.

There it was: Gay America’s favorite diva Margaret Cho dancing in a rainbow hued, fringed dress with Louis Van Amstel, the only officially “out” professional on “Dancing With the Stars.”

Afterward, our comedic heroine, breathless and giddy with excitement, pronounced,“This is the gayest thing I’ve ever seen!”

Then a small pause, pregnant and itchy as a closet door unexpectedly blew off the hinges. No one knew what to say.

Certainly, Margaret’s the mistress of hi-def gaydar. She’s allowed to say whatever the heck she wants to say about all things enchanted. After all, her formative years were spent on the Castro, the ultimate in gay street cred, and if Margaret Cho says “DWTS” is the gayest thing she’s ever seen then it must be true.

Perhaps we, the enchanted of America are once again having an under the radar yet profound impact on the culture, and what an impact it is. “DWTS” is ABC’s most highly rated programming and a fabulous distraction from the anger that’s poisoning the end of the first decade of the 21st century. It’s a relief to know that America is still capable of embracing her sensitive side.

The premiere of “Dancing with the Stars” was one of the most anticipated television events of the season. “DWTS” has become a melting pot of sorts, a true respite that crosses demographics and generations. “DWTS” welcomes all: gay and straight, conservative or liberal, those blessed with grace and those unfortunates condemned to two left feet. All are embraced and all are equal under the loving gaze of the country’s continued romance with ballroom dancing.

But for some reason the judges were especially hard on Margaret. She was one of the first to be eliminated. Maybe because she’s pretty tattooed up in a look not particularly fetching in a sleeveless dance gown. Maybe because her first spin around the dance floor was laced with gestures of deliberate, physical comedy. Such antics are especially off-putting to the judges of a medium soaked in old school tradition. Carrie Ann Inaba, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli were not amused.

It really is an enigma, for ballroom dancing is a place of flamboyant subtlety. There’s much that’s implied and much that’s unsaid. I guess that’s why a Margaret’s perfectly innocent observation was met with a nearly audible gasp. But honestly, her gay comment was little more than acknowledgment of a gigantic pink elephant in the living room.

That’s the beauty of “DWTS.” It evokes an age of innocence, a mythical time and place where “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was unthinkable because nobody really gave a damn who you slept with, as long as you danced with grace, rhythm and style.

“DWTS” is the best of so much. It’s athletic and exciting and beautiful. It’s classy and competitive, and it’s really something to see stiff, uptight straight guys loosen up and learn to embrace undiscovered grace. Mr. Abs himself, Mike “The Situation” of “The Jersey Shore” is a prime example of learning polish under pressure. He’s really tried, and he took it all very seriously as he morphed from a posturing, straight, goofy stereotype to a genuinely earnest student of the art. He improved, not enough to stay in the competition, but it was fun to watch the situation evolve.

Phoenix’s own Kurt Warner is another inspiration. He too is improving dramatically, due in part to his natural confidence. Warner exhibits a trait that’s sadly all too rare in straight men: the ability to be secure with his own masculinity, even dressed in sequins. His partner, Anna Trebunskaya, nourished this confidence by suggesting Kurt have a tea party with his young daughters. She suggested this in order for Kurt to more fully utilize his feminine side, that aspect of refinement most necessary for a competent, male lead.

Watching the burly, handsome ex-quarterback sipping imaginary tea, rhinestone tiara be-decked and pinky fully extended on a tiny chair and in the company of his giggling, adoring daughters was charming beyond words. Only a heart of stone would be incapable of a great big, “awwww.”

Maybe America is on the cusp of really getting it. Real men not only eat quiche, but they can also execute a Paso Doble that will leave you breathless and wanting for more. It’s comforting that in these uncomfortable times, one can escape to an oasis untroubled by all that is clumsy and mean-spirited. It’s even more comforting to know that “Dancing with the Stars” is an oasis frequented by millions, and it’s hard to not be proud when it’s “the gayest thing” Margaret Cho has ever seen.